Prescription For Game

Game (1 Bottle)

Prescription Authorized by Dr. Dagonet

Active Ingredients: Approaches, Pickups, Sex, Dating

Inactive Ingredients: Confidence, Knowledge, Dominance

Dosage: 2 approaches a day; 5 on weekends. If symptoms persist, double the dosage.

Uses: Temporarily relieves heartache. Spontaneously generates sexual opportunity. Increases control of destiny. Can be applied to other areas (topical use only).

Side Effects May Include: Increased frequency of sheet-washing. Inability to take love songs seriously. Involuntary yelling at movie screens. Sore penis. Matrix-like heightened awareness in social situations. Strange red bumps. Excessive fun and amazement. Initial shock and heartbreak as your traditional worldview perishes. A bizarre and unprecedented affinity for Republicans. Also: Babies.

Discontinue Use: If you prefer to keep living your life from a place of weakness, relinquishing all control to a system that doesn’t have your best interests in mind. Or if you really like masturbating. Or if you want a fat wife who puts out twice a year, bangs the cable guy, and leaves with your kids and money.

Warning: If erection lasts longer than 4 hours, you’re doing it right.