The title of this post is misleading. Because once you put an abundance mentality into action, you start to notice that you’re really doing less.
Those flakey girls who don’t return my texts? I can relate.
I’ve started forgetting about prospects. I see names in my phone with no recollection of who they are or how they got there.
I got a girl’s number last night… Last year I would have been on cloud nine, I would have gone over all our future dates in my head, fantasized about banging her… Now the whole thing required zero thought, minimal effort, and I’m not sure if I’ll even bother calling her. I’m like a robot.
I was going to text her today (because I’m going on vacation in less than a week), but then this other chick who moved away from my city was back visiting, and she texted me for a booty call. I knew it was a booty call, at least.
She came over, already a bit drunk, and we talked and caught up for a few. We had never even kissed before, but she had drunk-messaged me on facebook a couple of times, basically confessing that she wanted me.
We fooled around, and then I found out she’s a virgin (actually she had mentioned this in a drunk text a couple months ago, but I wasn’t 100% sure I had read that correctly). She wasn’t ready to lose her virginity to me tonight, so we did other stuff. Whatever.
This shit used to seem crazy to me.
After the virgin came over tonight, I went out to see a comedy show with some friends. Beforehand, I ducked into a restaurant to get some food, and sat at the bar talking to the only chick on duty. I was the only customer too. We talked the whole time.
She was cute but her body looked a little wide, it was hard to tell with the way she was dressed though. I wasn’t trying to impress her, I was just holding a decent conversation, not seeming too eager, joking around and teasing her without being showy, and relaxing.
I know I could have gotten her number, but for the first time in this type of situation, I chose not to. This kind of conversation has become normal for me now. I wanted to solidify for myself that this is my lifestyle, this is how I converse, and it’s not about what I’m trying to get out of it with the girl. It felt great to just get up and leave, knowing that she wanted my number, knowing that I can walk away because I have better prospects. Having an enjoyable conversation with a girl that builds her attraction toward me is commonplace now, it’s nothing I get excited about or over-think. I didn’t even remember to include this story in the first draft of this post…
Sometimes I realize halfway through the day that– wow!– I made out with a chick last night. Totally forgot about that… even though I was sober…
What the fuck is going on?
I’m living the abundance mentality. I’ve put myself in the shoes of those hot girls who have tons of guys trying to hook up with them, and now my mindset is similar.
There will always be more girls. There are tons of girls. Why would I be nervous talking to this girl? If it goes well I’ll have a new prospect. If it goes bad, I’ll have a learning experience and a funny story. And there will always be another one, and another one, and another one. Add in the fact that all girls are operating under the same primal instincts of attraction, and they start to seem interchangeable… for better or worse.
The abundance mentality has hazards associated with it too.
–Dehumanizing/lack of connection… It becomes hard to remember personal details and conversations you’ve had with specific girls. This can hinder you from really connecting and deepening your bond with any one person.
–Exhaustion… How often do you want to go out on dates (“hang out”)? Ideally, how often do you want to be getting laid? I’ve definitely over-indulged in making plans with girls lately, and it has thrown my life and health a little out of balance. I don’t believe that all of us have to constantly, 24/7 work on perfecting our skills, keep banging new girls to brag about our notch count, etc… You should all have your own personal goals, but make sure they are truly personal, and they reflect the values and circumstances of your own life (free of social/familial pressures). Also, make sure you get enough sleep. That’s what has fucked me the most.
–Detachment from reality… You can get really swept up in game, but you need to keep your life in perspective. For me, I feel a bit dazed sometimes because I live in a weird city, far from my family (so I don’t have those ties keeping me grounded and connected to my past and my place in society), plus I spend most of my time alone, even when I’m at work (sitting in my own office). I hang out with friends once or twice a week, but it seems to come and go quickly. Maybe this is just about getting enough sleep too…
Right now I want to focus more on balancing out my life, rather than just shooting up my notch count fast.
The Quest is only worth taking if the journey is worth living.
Getting to 50 doesn’t really mean anything; it’s just a number. This is about happiness, fulfillment and empowerment every day, not an arbitrary goal that I can check off my bucket list.
Still, at this rate, it looks like 50 might just fall in my lap.