It's Go Time

 

Go.

****

My family is heading out for the airport in 5 hours.

I’ve been able to really enjoy the last couple days they spent here. Whenever I felt things getting frustrating, I simply shut up, walked away, and let it diffuse.

****

At the same time, I definitely feel that my personality and game have been stifled for the last 12 straight days. I’ve sent out some texts and Facebook messages, trying to set some things set up, but I’ve been met mostly by silence.

There are a couple of prospects that could come through.

I’ll chalk a little bit of it up to the holiday season, but I think the problem is that, as I’ve noticed in the past, I’m trying to progress too quickly without fully hooking the girl. I need to be creating compelling, dynamic moments to share in person when we meet. I’m smooth enough now that I can usually get a girl’s number, but that doesn’t make her want to hang out with me again.

It just comes off as weird if I try to arrange plans and they have no idea why I’m interested. They must think I’m desperate.

They probably think I’m struggling to get just one girl.

The truth is I’m struggling to get every girl.

****

The night before my family was originally supposed to leave, I texted Shakira to see if she was back in town. She said she was, and I didn’t respond.

The next morning, my family’s trip was extended 5 days due to inclement weather. I had left a thread hanging with Shakira, so I decided to give her a call.

We chatted for a couple minutes and I could feel myself getting really nervous the whole time. For some reason, I put a lot of pressure on myself on the phone. I should probably just avoid it– too little control and too much room for error (as sad as that is, that seems to be the state of affairs today). If I can get in a really comfortable mindset, then I do think a phone call can sometimes be more useful in building comfort and setting plans.

****

We made some small talk. I explained the situation with my family and we laughed about it. I asked if she had plans later in the week and she said no. I asked if she had New Year’s plans and she said she has a few options, but nothing definite.

I should have been bold and direct, but I played it too noncommittal. I said something like, “Well I’ve got a few things that are going on, if you want you can come out with me.” She just said, “We’ll talk later this week.”

Not a good sign, but not a flat-out rejection. If I bring more momentum and confidence to the next interaction, I could still win the war. It’s not that important to me to spend New Year’s with her, though I did meet her last New Year’s so it would be kind of fitting in a way.

Look at me getting all sentimental…

****

My plan is to just call her again tomorrow (the day before New Year’s Eve) and see if she wants to come over and chill with me. She’s a very spur-of-the-moment girl, which I attribute mostly to the fact that she’s a pothead.

I didn’t really realize she was a pothead for a while. I basically ignored the signs, such as the huge bong on her coffee table. I mean, I knew she smoked, but I didn’t associate her laid-back style with the pot until recently.

I’m not saying the pot causes it; I’m not an anti-drug crusader or anything. I’ve smoked it a few times (though I’m not crazy about it), but I just think it all fits together to paint a picture of her personality.

****

Okay, this has not been one of my more coherent or eloquent blog posts.

I’m fucking tired, and I just spent 12 days with my family living in my very small apartment.

Here’s the point:

I’m on my own again, and it’s time to reclaim my strength, my confidence, and my enthusiasm.

Starting tomorrow, The Quest resumes.

But– oh, yeah– there’s one caveat:

…

My new job starts Monday.

And that’s going to change everything.

It’s Go Time.