The Quest For 50 and Willy Wonka’s Adventures
have joined forces to bring you a very special weeklong series.
The inspiration for this project comes from Facebook’s upgraded Messages,
which now show every message you ever sent to anyone all in one convenient thread…
meaning that every time you want to message a girl you’ve known a long time,
she is going to see every cringe-inducing thing your past self wrote to her.
So to show how far we’ve come, and how woefully beta we once were,
Willy Wonka and Dagonet have teamed up to bring you:
GHOSTS OF FACEBOOK PAST
Chapter 2: The Dagonet Special
Alright, so Dagonet tells me this is a girl he met briefly while he was partnered with her roommate for a college debate tournament. She’s brunette, obviously, as Dagonet apparently will nickname all girls in this Ghosts of Facebook series by their hair color. Anyway, he says she had “a cute, earthy vibe about her” and she also had a very nice rack. After talking, they found out they took a class together, so they exchanged numbers, but then nothing really happened, just casual “hellos” when they’d pass each other. It wasn’t until the next year that the young Dagonet decided “I should hit her up on Facebook!” And, so our story commences….
From here on out, my comments will be in bold and parenthesis.
Dagonet (9/10/07): Hi, how are you? You still living with [girl I met her through]? I saw you’re in [my dorm] this year. I am too, on the 19th floor [room number]. Stop by some time and say hi. How’d you end up doing in our class last semester? I kind of got the impression that you didn’t really like it too much haha. Hopefully you did all right though. Anyway, hope I talk to you soon. [I thought you started out alright, then it kind of drolled on - this is called the "question-question-observation-question-eagerness" opener. You won't read about this one in the KDM.]
The Brunette (9/15/07): Hey, how are you? [Mutual friend] is actually an RA at [freshman dorm], but I’m still living with [other roommate I didn't know]. I did fine in that class, just glad its done. How is your semester going? Well I’m in [room number] so anytime you wanna hang/get food/etc feel free to come and knock! [Okay, she's showing interest here, she's open to it...]
Dagonet (10/29/07): Hey, you back in town? How was your weekend? Let me know when you’re around. Give me a call whenever. [Not sure if you called her since the last message, but if not... you've flipped from "I'll give you a call" to "Give me a call whenever". How's that working for you? Again, it just comes off as you're not willing to make the first move... and then the "whenever", "sometime", "whenever you want to", "whenever you're free", "I'll wait up, no matter how long it takes" - yeah, doesn't come off good. Too passive)
The Brunette (10/29/07): Yea I’m around all this week, what are your weekend plans? [Which then forces her to put the pants on, and try to make some kind of plans, but girls suck at making plans. Anyway, Dagonet informs me that they did not get together that weekend, and he didn't talk to her for a few months and then just messages her again, like everything is fine and dandy..]
The Brunette (2/13/08): Actually, I’m going home to [hometown] for my nana’s birthday party. but what about sometime next week?
Dagonet (2/13/08): Sounds good. I’ll give you a call to figure it out. Have a good weekend! [Not bad. But, once again, they don't hang out. Nothing happens. A year later after Dagonet moves to Cali and is finally broken up with Longterm for good, he messages her again...]
[Dagonet fills us in: Next, I texted her before coming home for Thanksgiving and asked her out to dinner. She happily agreed. This time I resolved to follow through, and we had a pleasant dinner that I treated her to in Manhattan. Afterwards, we shared a cab to Penn Station for her to take a train home (I was staying in a family member's empty apartment in midtown). I leaned in and kissed her, and we made out for 5 minutes. I tried to get her to come back to the apartment and she said, "No, I know what that really means...." She confessed that she had had a crush on me for a long time, but she would not change her plans, and got out of the cab to go home.]
[Dagonet fills in: After that message, she ignored my calls and texts for months. But when I was coming home to visit that summer, I had finally learned some Game, though it ultimately proved to be too late...]
Dagonet (8/19/10): Lol you sound like a hobo. Life’s been great, lots of stuff going on. Globetrotting this week, spent a few days in chicago and now I’m in new york. You should come hang out at my party saturday night, we’ll catch up.
[Dagonet: She ended up texting me the night of my party to apologize for not making it. I just ignored her.]
My take on this is it was just too much “no action”. We all have girls like this in our pasts, where it was just texts, Facebook, Myspace, AIM or what have you and it seemed like they were in to us and it just never happened. I think there will always be girls like this, that it just never seems to happen with for whatever reason, but at least with game now you’re more likely to 1.) not be scared to make the first move and 2.) push/pull and make her chase a bit more.