Ghosts Of Facebook Past (Part II)

The Quest For 50 and Willy Wonka’s Adventures

have joined forces to bring you a very special weeklong series. 

The inspiration for this project comes from Facebook’s upgraded Messages,

which now show every message you ever sent to anyone all in one convenient thread… 

meaning that every time you want to message a girl you’ve known a long time, 

she is going to see every cringe-inducing thing your past self wrote to her. 

So to show how far we’ve come, and how woefully beta we once were,

Willy Wonka and Dagonet have teamed up to bring you:

GHOSTS OF FACEBOOK PAST

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Chapter 2: The Dagonet Special

Alright, so Dagonet tells me this is a girl he met briefly while he was partnered with her roommate for a college debate tournament.  She’s brunette, obviously, as Dagonet apparently will nickname all girls in this Ghosts of Facebook series by their hair color.  Anyway, he says she had “a cute, earthy vibe about her” and she also had a very nice rack.   After talking, they found out they took a class together, so they exchanged numbers, but then nothing really happened, just casual “hellos” when they’d pass each other.  It wasn’t until the next year that the young Dagonet decided “I should hit her up on Facebook!”  And, so our story commences….

From here on out, my comments will be in bold and parenthesis.

-Willy Wonka

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Dagonet (9/10/07): Hi, how are you? You still living with [girl I met her through]? I saw you’re in [my dorm] this year. I am too, on the 19th floor [room number]. Stop by some time and say hi. How’d you end up doing in our class last semester? I kind of got the impression that you didn’t really like it too much haha. Hopefully you did all right though. Anyway, hope I talk to you soon.  [I thought you started out alright, then it kind of drolled on - this is called the "question-question-observation-question-eagerness" opener.  You won't read about this one in the KDM.]

The Brunette (9/15/07): Hey, how are you? [Mutual friend] is actually an RA at [freshman dorm], but I’m still living with [other roommate I didn't know]. I did fine in that class, just glad its done. How is your semester going? Well I’m in [room number] so anytime you wanna hang/get food/etc feel free to come and knock!  [Okay, she's showing interest here, she's open to it...]

Dagonet (9/15/07): My semester isn’t bad. My classes are pretty boring, but I’m interning 3 days a week at [internship], which is a lot of fun. I will definitely stop by some time and say hi. Same goes for you; feel free to knock any time or give me a call if anything cool is going on. Hopefully my roomates and I will be having a party or two soon… We have a quad so it’s pretty much our duty to throw parties I think. So I’ll let you know! [Only part I didn't like was the "please call me if anything cool is going on" part.  The rest was good.]

Dagonet (10/25/07): Hey, what’s up? I just ran into [our mutual friend]! I was talking about how I keep meaning to hang out with her and our friend [super hot blonde chick], and I mentioned how I had talked to you once or twice this semester. But that also made me realize that I haven’t really talked to you in a few weeks. So I just wanted to say hi, and we should still definitely hang out some time. We can bitch about [our professor] and his obsession with monotheism haha.

The Brunette (10/25/07): yea, that would be great. I’m going home this weekend though (my parents are having this big party that I have to be at). sometime next week though.

Dagonet (10/25/07): I’m actually going to Boston this weekend, so I’m not gonna be around anyway. Sounds good though, I’ll give you a call. Have fun at home!  [Not doing too bad here...]

Dagonet (10/29/07): Hey, you back in town? How was your weekend? Let me know when you’re around. Give me a call whenever.  [Not sure if you called her since the last message, but if not... you've flipped from "I'll give you a call" to "Give me a call whenever".  How's that working for you?   Again, it just comes off as you're not willing to make the first move... and then the "whenever", "sometime", "whenever you want to", "whenever you're free", "I'll wait up, no matter how long it takes" - yeah, doesn't come off good.  Too passive)

[To answer your question, Willy, I never called her. --Dag]

The Brunette (10/29/07): Yea I’m around all this week, what are your weekend plans?  [Which then forces her to put the pants on, and try to make some kind of plans, but girls suck at making plans.  Anyway, Dagonet informs me that they did not get together that weekend, and he didn't talk to her for a few months and then just messages her again, like everything is fine and dandy..]

Dagonet (2/13/08): Hey, we gonna do happy hour soon? Haha… or we could just hit up a bar this weekend or something. You around Saturday?  ["soon" = passive.  "or something" = passive.  "You around Saturday?" = finally some sort of an attempt to see her.  Not great, but at least you're trying..]

The Brunette (2/13/08): Actually, I’m going home to [hometown] for my nana’s birthday party. but what about sometime next week?

Dagonet (2/13/08): Sounds good. I’ll give you a call to figure it out. Have a good weekend!    [Not bad.  But, once again, they don't hang out.  Nothing happens.  A year later after Dagonet moves to Cali and is finally broken up with Longterm for good, he messages her again...]

The Brunette (8/8/09): Hey thank you! I’ve been well, just started working full-time at [media company].. so you know, the 9-5 (actually, 8-6). I hope all is well with you, thanks for the birthday wish! take care

[Dagonet fills us in:  Next, I texted her before coming home for Thanksgiving and asked her out to dinner. She happily agreed. This time I resolved to follow through, and we had a pleasant dinner that I treated her to in Manhattan. Afterwards, we shared a cab to Penn Station for her to take a train home (I was staying in a family member's empty apartment in midtown). I leaned in and kissed her, and we made out for 5 minutes. I tried to get her to come back to the apartment and she said, "No, I know what that really means...." She confessed that she had had a crush on me for a long time, but she would not change her plans, and got out of the cab to go home.] 

The Brunette (12/29/09): hey! Christmas was cool, hope your passover went well. It’s actually freezing today, 22… but with the wind, “feels like 4″ .. I’d kill for 45!! I haven’t seen Zinn lately … what are you doing for new years? I’m headed to philadelphia this weekend to see some cousins, then possibly DC for work. I’m thinking about seeing Avatar, but mainly because it was described to me as a Fern Gully meets The Smurfs – I may or may not have really liked both, ha. have a happy new year    (She’s bantering.  She likes you.)

Dagonet (1/21/10): Check it out… Apparently we are trendsetters… [link to an article about the restaurant we had dinner at]

The Brunette (1/22/10): saw your call – totally was asleep, grandma style. Awesome – although I’d take the [Dagonet] special over this deal any day    (Seems to be going well..)

Dagonet (1/22/10): Ha, grandma style– totally sexy   I was gonna mention the [Dagonet] special… it’s looking like the last week of March (25th-31st). Which seems like a really long time from now, but what can ya do… Are you gonna get sent out to LA for work any time soon? Actually, I believe we have some plans to go to Vegas haha [we had joked about this]. I know that’s kind of a big jump from first date to flying to Vegas… but I’m also pretty sure we would have a great time. I’m up for it if you are. February’s lookin pretty wide open right now…  (You’re just trying to do too much too fast here.  She’s given you a few IOI’s and now you want her to fly out to Vegas and spend a weekend with you?  Joking with girls about trips is one thing, but actually taking them up on never seems to work out – trust me, I’ve done it before too – the Vegas trip y’all talked about was just banter, just fun talk in the moment, she didn’t expect you to actually jump at it and be like “ok! Vegas!  You said it!  Now, let’s go!”)

[Dagonet fills in:  After that message, she ignored my calls and texts for months. But when I was coming home to visit that summer, I had finally learned some Game, though it ultimately proved to be too late...]

The Brunette (8/19/10): hey! how are you? I got your message, my phone has been dead a while, etc. thanks for the birthday wish. how is all with you?

Dagonet (8/19/10): Lol you sound like a hobo. Life’s been great, lots of stuff going on. Globetrotting this week, spent a few days in chicago and now I’m in new york. You should come hang out at my party saturday night, we’ll catch up.

[Dagonet: She ended up texting me the night of my party to apologize for not making it. I just ignored her.]

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Willy’s Take

My take on this is it was just too much “no action”.   We all have girls like this in our pasts, where it was just texts, Facebook, Myspace, AIM or what have you and it seemed like they were in to us and it just never happened.    I think there will always be girls like this, that it just never seems to happen with for whatever reason, but at least with game now you’re more likely to 1.) not be scared to make the first move and 2.) push/pull and make her chase a bit more.