I had a conversation with a girl I know this week that shed some more light on women’s perspectives in dating. I’m always open to getting female opinions, but I usually just laugh to myself about how incomplete or biased their understanding is.
Men, Monks & Peter Pans
She began to tell me about how she believes there are three kinds of men: “Monks,” “Peter Pans,” and “Real Men.”
I figured this was pretty straightforward.
Monks would be guys who keep to themselves, having no options and withdrawing from the sexual marketplace (what I would call Omegas).
Peter Pans would be guys who just haven’t “grown up” yet– the nice guys, the white knights saving Wendy from Captain Hook (a.k.a. Betas).
And the “Real Men” are Alphas. Makes sense, right?
Not Even Close
Obviously I overestimated her, because it turned out she was doing what most girls do, which is ignoring guys they are not attracted to in the first place. If you’re not alpha, you don’t exist. Basically, she just described three different dudes she had been in love with in the past:
“Peter Pans are those smooth-talking player types. They just seduce you and use you for sex, but they aren’t mature enough to want a relationship yet.”
“Monks are really spiritual guys who are more into energy and nature than women… They’ll let you hang around with them, but you’ll never be important enough for them to go out of their way for.”
“Real Men are guys who have their shit figured out. They have good careers, they know their place in the world and have achieved success, or are on the right path. They’re marriage material and they want to take care of women.”
****
So I guess in her world, every man is either a player, a pothead hipster, or a successful investment banker.
Does that sound about right?
Thanks for posting this conversation. It sounds like the latest reason for a man “not to listen to a woman for advice about women”. BTW, did she ask you for your perspective as a man on the different types of women?
No, she just asked if I agreed with her (brilliant) opinion of men.
Lmao.
It sounds like she’s just talking about her last two crushes and then her idealized idea of a man, that she probably thinks one of her girlfriends whose about to get married has.
Right on the money there Wonka.
QFF is also correct in pointing out that men she hasn’t been attracted to at some point in her life don’t even merit consideration as “men”.
I love it when girls try to be clever with analogies like this, good insight on bad female logic
I just had lunch with a female friend of mine. I teased her like I do with all girls because it’s become sheer entertainment to get a reaction out of them.
She said “you know, I wanna hit you. If you want to be respected by others, you should respect them first.”
–> Not buying this shit. So I’m supposed to kiss a woman’s ass in order to gain respect and admirtation from her first? Bitch, please.
Showing “respect” doesn’t make you weak, so you shouldn’t worry about it.
But it sounds like your situation was probably that you were teasing her or defying her without first having high value in her eyes. Then she’s just going to challenge you and get pissed off.
Right on the money, sadly. Most women have next to no idea how men think, what they are like, the pressures of the male life or what we want in women. Or that most of us exist. They just see the guys they want, and the hamster makes wanting into deserving, so the men are bad for not wanting them because they deserve the men.
I like how “have their shit figured out” equates to “want to take care of a woman.” Total solipsism. This is the 21st century, you’re going to have to take care of yourself honey (and no man you want is going to want a woman who has to be “taken care of.”)
This sort of thinking is epidemic even among people who should know better and would if they simply opened their eyes. Consider Susan Walsh. It’s taken her close to two years of daily blogging and interacting with commenters to come to at least a balanced view of the modern SMP. And this is an intelligent, educated middle-aged woman with a daughter and a son in their 20′s, who has kept court with a clique of young sexually active women for over two years! Now she’s on the right track, really addressing both sides of the coin. I tease her endlessly about this and she always is humbled by it, sometimes a bit ashamed of her old posts.
BTW, love the logo/banner.
Yeah, good points all around. Although I think it is ATTRACTIVE when a girl wants you to take care of her as a leader. It’s unattractive when a girl feels ENTITLED to being “taken care of” and therefore is ungrateful and sees everything you do as “not good enough.” But a girl who needs a strong man to take care of her is feminine and sexy in a sense.
“I like how ‘have their shit figured out’ equates to ‘want to take care of a woman.’ ”
great point.
hilarious and insightful post, d.