Harem Management

That was easy.

So here is what’s been going on with me lately:

This past week is really a microcosm of my whole year. Busy with work, not a lot of extra energy to go out and meet new girls, relying on a few go-to girls that I have locked up. In a way, maybe I’m over-relying on these girls instead of forcing myself to find new ones. It’s really a question of what I’m getting out of it. At this point, I’m starting to realize that I’m bored with the repetition, and not even enjoying my time with these girls very much.

I think it’s time to put them aside and go on the hunt for new prospects. But for now, I am still getting my needs met.

****

On Friday night I saw Cookie for the first time in about two months. We hadn’t hung out since I ditched her for Jewdar back around Labor Day, and then flew out of the state. Jewdar and I still text once in a while, but she is always either traveling or “busy.” Waste of time, but I still throw in a text here or there just in case, since she’s pretty hot.

I picked things back up where they had been with Cookie. I even bought her dinner since I had treated her badly the last time we were going to hang out (she turned down work to drive me to the airport, and then I flaked on her). We had a good time, and then went back to her place. It was pretty much the same as it always was.

The good thing about Cookie is that she understands we’re not going to be in a relationship. She enjoys hanging out with me, shakes her head at my behavior, but ultimately is cool with the situation. I enjoy seeing her once in a while, but I would enjoy it more if she was younger and didn’t have the worst breast implants I’ve ever encountered. She has a great body, and they are really unnecessary. Plus they are lumpy, asymmetrical, and feel kind of hard when you squeeze them. But I digress…

Cookie always gives me shit about not staying over at her place after we bang. This past Friday, I was lying in her bed after, exhausted, looking up at the ceiling, when she said, “So how long do you feel like you have to lay there before you leave?” Such snark.

“Who says I’m leaving?”

“Are you staying?”

“Yeah, I think I might.”

I proceeded to set my alarm clock and stay over. In the morning, she wanted to have morning sex, as usual. Pretty much every time I see her, I have plans to see another girl the next day, so I always avoid it. She always gets irked by it and feels the need to comment.

As I was walking out, she noticed the condom wrapper on her nightstand. “New brand?”

“Yeah, I like them.”

I realized that made it sound blatant that I was sleeping with other people.

“I mean… I don’t know.”

“What?”

“They’re not really new. I used to use them back in college.”

She laughed.

I left.

****

Cookie and the other long-time member of my harem, Aggressive Asian, are both low-maintenance. They are both shy and independent. Neither of them is really looking for a boyfriend. They are ideal members of the harem because they don’t run in any social circle that could even overlap with my own, and they are basically available whenever I want to make plans, no strings attached.

On the other end of the spectrum is Valley Girl, who has been my “main girl” for the last two months. I’ve been sleeping with her once or twice every week during that span.

In all the time we’ve been together, it has been obvious that VG is getting more and more attached to me, acting like my girlfriend, even “accidentally” introducing me to her parents, and also her grandparents, and also her uncle… She has not, however, felt it necessary to have “the talk” and figure out what our status is. It came up briefly once, after a couple of weeks, and I gave her my default speech about “not wanting to rush into anything” and “not feeling like there was room in my life for a relationship.”

I didn’t explain how the current state of the sexual marketplace rewards me much more for staying single and sleeping around. I don’t know if she would’ve gotten it.

So a week ago, VG invited me out to drink with her girlfriends at a bar, and told me to invite friends. The first thought that crossed my mind was, “What friends?” But I figured I’d give some acquaintances the courtesy of inviting them to hang with a group of females. I do actually have some guys out here I enjoy hanging out with. I just hardly ever see them.

A good friend who lives in an awesome house in the hills with five other dudes said he was game to hang. We discussed pregaming a bit, and he said I should invite the girls to his place. I went ahead and did that, and then realized what a huge mistake I had made.

These guys are known for their legendary parties, and the following weekend, they were going to be throwing their biggest of all: Halloween. Last year, Quentin Tarantino had randomly showed up, just because there were a lot of cool, sexy young Hollywood people there.

I realized that VG was going to get invited to the party while we were all hanging out, but there was nothing I could do about it. If it had just been my buddy coming to the bar, I could have briefed him on the situation. But going to hang out at the house was a guarantee.

I didn’t want Valley Girl at the party because I would be catching up with a lot of friends and meeting a lot of sexy new girls dressed in slutty costumes. But sure enough, the guys invited her.

****

So over this last week, I kept contact to a minimum. Ignored her calls, responded tersely to one or two texts. Maybe she would make other plans.

Nope.

On Saturday she calls me. I know what it’s about; I might as well answer.

“Hey.”

“Heyyy what’s up?”

“Nothing. You calling me about the party tonight?”

“Uh yeah of course!”

“So you’re going?”

“Yeah, did you think I was gonna ditch you? Haha!”

So we make our plans for her to come over and then leave for the party. Her friend from the previous week was meeting us there as well.

We get there early to avoid the commotion, and chill out drinking. I am too lazy to prepare a costume, so I go as a suave Don Draper again (suit + fedora). As the night goes on and the party fills up with beautiful women, VG’s friend gets really bored, and then goes completely nuts when VG accidentally spills her drink on her. The friend says she is leaving to go somewhere else, meaning I am now 100% babysitting VG.

To make matters worse, she is getting shitfaced, and will not stop hanging on me like a baby. She is constantly trying to turn my head to make out with her, even while I am trying to have conversations with friends.

Finally, one hot girl dressed in a sailor outfit asks her, “Is this your boyfriend?” Valley Girl looks dumbfounded. “Uh, not technically.”

A minute later, VG pulls me aside. “Heyyyy… We should talk about something…..”

Motherfucker. 

“I just… I don’t know what your feelings are…”

God damn it I will fucking kill you. Not in the middle of this party. 

“I just want to know if we are going to be official or what. I feel like we already basically are but I don’t know what to say when people ask…”

“Valley Girl, can we talk about this later?”

“Yeah but… but can’t you just tell me now?”

“I’ve already told you, I’m not interested in a relationship.”

It’s like I slapped her in the face.

“Whha… You mean with me? Or in general?”

“In general.”

“Do you think you will eventually want to be in a relationship with me?”

“I don’t know. I like hanging out with you, though.”

“I just feel like… if you don’t know now, you’re never going to know……”

We go on like this for a solid 15 minutes. It is excruciating. She says she would be disgusted if I hooked up with someone else. I tell her that being in a relationship and being exclusive mean the same thing to me. She starts crying and says she needs to be alone for a few minutes. She walks off into an unoccupied bedroom.

I’m not going to squander these few minutes alone!

I walk outside to the backyard and a girl almost hits me while trying to whip a guy with her costume’s whip. I stop and give her shit about it. I realize I had noticed this girl earlier when her extremely round ass had almost knocked a drink out of my hand with its sheer force.

I run very tight game for a minute. I tease her by giving an obviously fake name (Enrique), and when she makes a comment about her nice ass, I tell her that mine is nicer. She asks how many people say mine is the nicest ass they’ve ever seen when I take my clothes off. I tell her “every single one.” She smiles, and wants me.

I tell her I need to go find my friends. She touches my arm and says, “Come find me on the dance floor later…” God damn it. 

I say I’m not sure if I’ll run into her again since I have a lot of people to see. “So just give me your number now in case.” We exchange numbers.

Time elapsed: 3 minutes, 23 seconds*

*Estimated

****

I realize I have Valley Girl’s phone, so if she wanders off I will never find her and she will probably die in the mountains. I return back inside to find her.

A really cute blond girl I’ve run into at multiple places the last few months recognizes me. She approaches me and introduces me to her group of cute friends. She says “Come join us on the dance floor!” Seriously, what the fuck. This is like Pussy Christmas and even in this version, I’m still Jewish. 

I tell them I’ll catch up with them and go off to find Valley Girl. She is not too far from where I left her. She hugs me and proceeds to have another version of The Talk. I finally get her to stop so we can walk around and see some of my other friends.

She keeps clinging to me and acting weird. Trying to kiss me nonstop. I give her the cold shoulder.

Finally I just tell her I want to leave. She quizzes me on why I would want to leave. You don’t want the answer to this question, so shut the fuck up.

****

I make up some bullshit about how I’m the designated driver and can’t drink anymore. We head back to my place, where we proceed to talk for another 30 minutes. I listen to her rationalizations and have a complete understanding of what she truly means by everything she says– much more than she does.

What strikes me the most is the fact that Valley Girl, a supposedly intelligent, upper-class girl raised in the 21st Century, has almost no self-awareness about her actions having consequences, and no knowledge of the sexual marketplace.

Oh wait. That’s not surprising at all.

Basically, she doesn’t get the concept that if she is getting emotionally invested, it’s her job to have The Talk early on, probably even before she starts having sex with a guy. She naively assumes that she can just fuck a guy 25 times, fall in love with him, never discuss what he wants out of it, and then he will magically feel the same way as her.

To her credit, she doesn’t blame me or accuse me of manipulating her. She is just confused and frustrated that at this juncture, I don’t want a relationship. She is trying to decide if she can keep going, keep seeing me and sleeping with me.

I’ve been pretty much over sleeping with her for the last few weeks. She has some annoying things about her personality, and the fact that she is clinging and acting like she is my girlfriend makes it all the worse. This might just be the final straw.

I don’t really participate in the conversation much, just letting her talk, and saying “Uh huh” once in a while. I keep thinking that I would just tell her it’s over and send her home if she wasn’t so drunk. Also if she didn’t have my copy of The Gunslinger I had just lent her… Shit, I love that book.

Eventually she calms down and we have sex. The following morning we chill out for a bit, and she finally leaves.

I was glad to be rid of her; she felt like a parasite after the events of the previous night. But of course by that evening, she was already calling me again. I didn’t answer.

I really need to put some space between us right now. She’s a nice girl and I don’t want to hurt her, but her expectations are unrealistic. Here’s what I wanted to say to her:

What do you value more: A relationship, or sex? If you value a relationship more, then you shouldn’t be having sex until you’re in one. You’ve been giving me free sex for almost two months, whenever I want it. Why would I want to sacrifice my freedom, my time, and my ability to bang many different women just to keep getting the same thing I already have? 

For women today, if they continue following the mainstream, feminist cultural programming, giving away sex for free to any man who demonstrates some “alpha” cred, they will end up in de facto harems, and civilization will continue its slow roll toward destruction.

As for the men, every one of us must decide for himself how he wants to balance his portfolio and run his life. There is a place for committed relationships in our worldview. There is also free reign to collect girls like Pokemon and live the life of a primitive warlord. Whatever lifestyle you choose is valid if it’s true to your needs, goals, and comes from a place of knowledge and honesty.

Sometimes a girl becomes more of a liability than an asset, and you need to turn back from the philosophy of volume toward a sleeker, less entangled lifestyle. Sometimes you have to set it all ablaze so you can spring forth from the ashes again.